Why You're Not to Blame

Gabor Maté on addiction, alcohol and healing the hurt.

Many women who come to me feel weighed down by shame and self-blame around their drinking. They’ve told themselves they should have more willpower, that they should know better, and that every slip means they’ve failed.
But there’s a different, far more compassionate way to understand what’s happening and why you drink too much, and too often.

12 years ago I had an idea.  To create a community for women who wanted to change their relationship with alcohol.  I started brainstorming and collaborated with a friend who was 5-years sober. 

Together we created The Happy Hour.

But I was a very new mum, studying, working nights and still drinking wine.  When my friend got a job in the States, the project and idea were put on hold.

But the seed had been planted

My desire to create spaces for women to reconnect with joy and purpose, was borne out of a very personal need.  My own relationship with overdrinkjng was a very lonely and isolating place. 

12 years ago, the ‘sober revolution’ and collective mindset change around alcohol, was not even a thing. 

Fast forward 12 years, and 4 years alcohol-free, and I’m still evangelical about the wonders of an alcohol-free lifestyle.  I have found a way to live happily,

When you get sober, you don’t just give up alcohol, you give up your identity and this can be messy, confusing and very scary. But equally, it can also be wonderful.

I have spent hundreds of hours learning about alcohol and its impact on the brain and on the body. I’ve read books, listened to podcasts, spoken to friends and people in recovery, journaled and taken plants for medicine.

Everything and anything to understand and find ways to live life in a new and healthy way.

Just introducing myself, to give a little background on my story, and my mission to help women ‘drink less and live more.’

There are many different types of drinkers. I am a binge-drinker, with no off switch. For me drinking was all about connecting so I didn’t feel alone. Yet at the same time it was also the thing which disconnected me the most - from friends, family and also from the essence of me.

Another year over, another year sober.
It’s impossible not to reflect on what came before, when you get well and take alcohol, chaos and late nights out the picture
I really feel so unbelievably grateful, every single day.
Sobriety - the worst thing to happen to me, has become the best thing to happen to me

The past four years of being social without booze, have been educating, liberating and above all empowering. I can now make decisions based on fact. I choose to do the things I know will serve me, add to my happiness and well-being. I can think a situation through carefully without jumping to an emotional response. I can feel hard feelings and understand that they pass. Triggers come and go. I try to talk to myself as I would a friend.